Saturday, 10 November 2012

Chapter 8 - Our Little Angel

Psst... A little erm surprise/clue in this chapter ;). It's quite sad so sorry about that, especially during the crisis that has taken over IPK. But just hang in there guys! In the end everything will work out I'm sure and if it doesn't ... well I'll still be growing old and telling my grandchildren that I used to watch an epic show called IPK that had the same amount of drama off-screen as it had on-screen :P xx. 

All because of you,
I believe in angels,
not the kind with wings
no, not the kind with halos,
the kind that bring you home
when home becomes a strange place
- The Good Left Undone, Rise Against

Khushi felt her feet slow of their own accord as she approached the door. The familiar pillars, the many layers of paint on them that she could still feel on her fingertips. He saw the tremble of her slight frame, her head slowly bow down as if in defeat as her footsteps neared the house, his house where had given her nothing but pain, the same house he had asked her to leave, the same house which had now become an open prison. He gulped down the torrents of pain that threatened to assault him once more, the onset of loss not far from him, he closed his eyes for a fraction of a second as her feet neared the threshold never had he imagined that his fate would be determined in such a way.

He hurried his footsteps as she took a step to the side, making sure that their bodies did not so much as touch and he felt that wave of pain pass through him once more. If only he could go back he would. He felt the key shake in his hand as it rattled slightly in the lock, he clenched his other hand into a fist, fighting for control. He was sure that if this control faltered for even a second he would come crashing down break down in front of her like the broken man that he now was. The knob almost slipped out of his hand, his nerves getting the better of him and he was sure he could already hear her tiny footsteps approaching. He tried to remember that face of his angel once more, try to calm himself by letting himself know exactly why he was doing this. His Arshia deserved a mother, Khushi deserved her child and he refused to acknowledge what he deserved of fear of what his own mind would answer in reply.

Khushi blinked several times, the large droplets of tears flowing down obstructing her view, she felt herself ebb forward, this little thing peaking out through the crack of the open door making her heart melt and bow to the floor. Her hand unconsciously went towards the almost toothless grin as the little girl continued to look only at Arnav. Khushi looked up then, her heart faltering for the smallest of seconds as she saw the serene gentleness that had now overtaken Arnav's features. She tightened her eyes shut, sorting her thoughts then taking a deep breath in let her hand touch the soft skin of her daughter and she felt herself fall to her knees as large caramel eyes looked to her, the little girls small smile disappearing in an instant.

She blinked several times, trying to recognise this face that she had seen many times before, she knew who it was. She took another step forward as Arnav too crouched next to Khushi and watched their little daughter, her small feet soft against the ground as she moved closer to Khushi. Khushi felt her eyes close under her gentle touch as Arshia placed her palm on Khushi's face, tentatively feeling for familiarity. The tears began to streak down Khushi's face, she felt herself loosing, falling into the depths of a feeling that she couldn't even begin to comprehend, her limbs going numb and weak.

Her eyes snapped open as Arshia's hand suddenly left her, she put her hand forward again unable to take being away from her for even a second but Arshia clapped her hands together, her small fingers coming together to make the smallest of sounds. Her face broke out into a large smile as she giggled to herself for a second, "mamma!" She exclaimed suddenly and all Khushi could do was stare on, her eyes wide, her mouth open, tears brimming in her eyes then falling down in torrents down her cheeks. She felt her mind go blank then, all she could see was Arshia all she could hear was that one word that she had thought she would never hear in her life. Her arms went out to Arshia automatically, engulfing her in her warm embrace, she cuddled her warm bundle of joy to her chest, her head bowed against her head, her sobs coming out in large hiccups as she rocked her back and forth.

Arnav watched this as if he was sitting in a distant place, Khushi's warm face against his angels soft cheeks, her affectionate little kisses, the tears glistening down her face, his mind suddenly numb to impending fears. A slow hopeful smile adorned his face, his eyes carrying the spark from years ago as he watched his family finally becoming complete. At the back of his mind hoping that maybe just maybe he would get a chance to pay back for all of his wrong, that maybe just maybe Khushi would give him another chance.


Khushi held Arshia in her arms, unable to comprehend the sheer storm of emotions coursing through her. All she knew was that she was finally holding her, this soft bundle of joy in her arms, soft tears continued to stream down her cheeks and she didn't make an attempt to wipe them away. Instead she rested her head against smiling Arshia, revelling in the beauty of the one thing she had thought she'd lost forever. Her arms involuntarily tightened around the tiny form, needing to just hide her from the whole world. "Aw my baby, how I thought I had lost you forever," she murmured into Arshia's hair, her tears dampening the silky strands. She didn't understand any of it, her heart still refused to believe that Arnav could be so cruel, so heartless, she couldn't find the strength in her to understand how he could hate her to such an extent. And then why had he finally told her? Why now? What did he want to prove? Was it guilt? Had he finally figured something out that now he was trying to make amends. Why was she never able to understand him. The glimmering beams of moonlight bathed her and her daughter in it's divine light as Khushi stood cradling her baby in her arms for the very first time.

I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away I drive off in my car
But, whichever way I go I come back to the place you are

But all my instincts - they return
The grand facade so soon will burn
Without a noise - without my pride
I reach out from the inside

He watched from afar as she stood near the large glass panelled windows, he didn't know what to say or to do, how to amend all that he had done wrong. As he watched her with her arms wound tightly around their daughter, the tiny shimmers from the tears than ran down her cheeks he felt his heart melt and become numb. How long had he waited for this? How hard had he tried? To bring back what was lost, to give back what he had taken, to bring their lives back to this somewhat complete point. But in the midst of all the happiness that he was supposed to be feeling he couldn't stop his mind from whirring back to that feeling of impending grief. Because he knew that this would not last, that the mistakes he had committed were no longer forgivable in her eyes and he knew that she misunderstood him, thought that he had kept her baby away from her and he couldn't blame her, couldn't muster up the strength to be angry at her. He hadn't given her the option of explaining herself all those years ago so what right did he have to demand that chance from her. He couldn't keep the tears from gathering up in his eyes any longer but didn't want to breakdown and cry either. And that carried with it the biggest pain of all, the burden of keeping too many things bottled up inside, for so many years, for what felt like a lifetime for he had let go of the only person that had offered to lift away his burdens. He felt himself crumbling, he was breaking down, he could see it clearly now. Arshia in Khushi's arms, already forming their own little world that he was not a part of, he gulped back more tears as Khushi looked back and their gazes met, glimmering hazel against drowning caramel orbs.

In your eyes - the light, the heat
I am complete in your eyes
See the doorways of a thousand churches in your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searching
In Your Eyes

Love love love love love
I don't like to see so much pain
So much wasted, and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

She felt herself waver for a moment as they looked into each others eyes for what felt like the longest of times and somewhere inside her she wanted to forget it all, give him another chance. It was as if her heart was adamant on just forgiving him. Those molten caramel eyes, she wanted to believe them, take the plunge, complete the family that she had just found. She felt her heart constrict then, words from the past resurfacing. All that he had said, all that he had done, she forced her eyes shut for a second then looked away, gathering her thoughts.

He waited quietly, his limbs weak, his throat constricting, he didn't have to hear it to know what was going to happen next and for the first time in his life he didn't know how he would react, what he would do. Arnav Singh Raizada was at a complete loss and somewhere inside he knew he had already made that decision.

But, all my instincts - they return
The grand facada so soon will burn
Without a noise - without my pride
I reach out from the inside

Her footsteps were slow, soft as she paced over towards him, his eyes not leaving her for a second, the fear within them so clearly evident that she almost reconsidered her decision for a minute. She tightened her hold against Arshia once more, her eyes determined as her little daughter finally slept with her head in the space of Khushis neck. She saw him straighten as she finally stood in front of him, her gaze fixed on his haggard face. She allowed herself a better look at him, the handsom features that were still there behind the darkened stubble, the sunken eyes. She wanted to run her fingers over his face, watch him lean his face into her palm, his eyes close over as his lips gently pecked her skin but she wouldn't. She blinked several times, bringing that composure back. He looked like he hadn't slept in months and she wanted to comfort him, but she didn't. Instead she took a step towards him, holding his gaze and she uttered the words that he had been dreading all along,

"Arnav, I'm taking Arshia with me."

I get so lost, sometimes


The muscles of his face twitched several times as a faint glimmer of the moon cut through the  railings of the small square window up above. A slow snarl spread on his lips. It wouldn't be too long now till he got out.


  1. Update Please!!!! Its awesome .. loving it!!

  2. emotional beautifully done after all the hurt and pain he has put her true he hoping she gave him another chance poor khushi she is holding her baby for the first time that was so sad awesome update beautifully done very emotional

  3. beautiful..worth the wait..Arnav was expecting this...waiting to know what his next step is...

  4. Aah I can't reply to comments individually on this blog template! That sucks!
    Anyway @GirlOfFire I will try and get the next update up soonish :) but no guarantees :S xx

    @kathrina Thank you so much! xx

    @lulu marjan thank you so much! Yes he was, he knew it was coming. Lots more in store ;) xx

  5. Omfg!!! Holy hell that was so intense I'm seriously like contemplating on what to write right now! I for one want her to forget Arnav and leave with her child but Arnav and Khushi are meant to be together and them separating for a third time is so out of the question. Thank you for writing this this is one of the greatest pieces I've ever read well done girlie !!

  6. Awww thank you so much! :D Yey! You read this FF too! :D
    Decisions decisions eh? :P Don't worry see the other half of this story has not been revealed yet so I dunno you might feel a bit more sympathy towards Arnav after that.
    Thank you thank you so so much! This really means a lot! <3 xx

    1. I somehow ended up on your blog and started reading this story and now I'm freaking obsessed with it!!!

  7. Lol well I'm so glad that you ended up on my blog and that you read Paper Roses and this! And I love your amazing comments! <3 xx

  8. noooo...well khushi is right in a way...but i feel so sorry for arshi..sham is coming out of the jail...looking forward to the next update,,,


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I have too many stories in my head and sometimes I just need to put them out there for people to read. Fanfic writing was an idea that I hadn't considered at all until coming across some really good ones on India-Forums so my writing is an affect of too much IF trolling on lazy revision days. I get bored easily from studying (which I do too much of) and writing helps me relax. My life involves a whole load of drama so the twists and turns in my stories will show the effect of that. Anyway hope you enjoy the Arshi fanfics I send your way :).
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Got four fanfic on the go plus the random OS's that I'll be writing. So check em out too!